The following are actual statements taken from insurance claim forms
where insureds attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the
fewest words possible.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I
don't have.

I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my
head through it.

The other car collided without giving warning of its intentions.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

 A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

A guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of times before
I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced over at my
mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day, and was on my way home.  As I
reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscured my vision, and I
did not see the other car.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and
had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place
where no stop sign had ever appeared before.  I was unable to stop in
time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the
pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.

(this is typed the way it was on the form, not a typo by me.)
I told the police that I was not insured, but on removing my hat, I
found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow never made it to the other side of the road
when I hit him.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the
roof of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with
a big mouth.

I was thrown from the car as it left the road.  I was later found in a
ditch by some stray cows.

the telephone pole was approaching, and I was attempting to swerve out
of its way when it struck the front end of my car.